Parity for Women at Home

its such hypocrisy that we celebrate women’s day and at the end of it nothing changes neither the way men look at women nor the way women lead their lives. Irrespective of economic status or professional qualifications all women face the same hardships, and the most saddening part is that women are themselves responsible for it either directly or indirectly. In a rapidly changing society of today we see many women who have become bread winners in addition to efficient home makers.However I doubt the same to be true of most men.

Given the cultural background certain behaviours, etiquette, dress code etc are binding to the people of the society. Like women are not allowed to dress the way they would want to, or they are not supposed to talk loudly or laugh aloud and many more. But if seen closely we realise that this has been propagated and kept alive by our ancestor women themselves! They are the ones who have been pivotal in restricting the progress of women and nipping the “bad” habits in the bud.

Again it is we women in the form of mothers who set rules of what a son or daughter should do, so that in future they can be a good wife and mother. We expect girls to know all household activities of cooking, sweeping, cleaning, washing etc., but the same is never expected of a boy! Infact a boy doing such activities is insulting and degrading to the family! He is expected to do the outdoor activities and when at home relax. Moreover we even gift children presents based on these differences, for example a bat or a ball for a boy and a doll or a kitchen set for a girl! So it is not surprising that when the children grow up it is but natural that the woman takes up all these chores as part of her duties as they are inscribed in us right from our childhood.

I agree we still have areas where women are deprived of their basic rights and are totally at the mercy of their male counterparts, however every woman still needs to compromise and sacrifice at the family level. In her own cocoon she is expected to do everything, right from going to work, cooking, doing the household chores, taking the studies of their children, looking after the sick and elderly and so on and so forth. All in the span of 24 hours a day!

As soon as the head of family arrives at home he is greeted with a cup of tea and then settles down on the couch for the rest of the evening for a much needed rest. Whereas a woman arriving from work is never supposed to be tired and getting a cup of coffee then would be a luxury. Her day at home is about to begin!

A woman makes a multitude of sacrifices right from her name to her career, hobbies, health, everything is compromised and her life mainly revolves around her family, however this is a thankless job which she does with a smile.

Sometimes I wonder whether reminding us of our womanhood is meant to make us proud or  to humiliate us! Is it meant to mock us saying you are a woman and will always be? On women’s day we receive a lot of messages from our male colleagues. But do they really mean it? Or are they merely a joke? I really wonder…

The crux of the matter is that unless we women come together and join hands and start practicing gender equality at home itself we will never be able to live with the parity we dream about. We first need to change our outlook, the way we treat our family and the way we allow ourselves to be treated. Let’s free the society of gender bias.. Let’s celebrate womanhood!

Kindly leave your valuable comments and thanks for reading!
Perspective

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26 thoughts on “Parity for Women at Home

  1. Good begining..keep it up.
    Though for the desired changes to happen in our current societal culture and mindset, it will take ages..debatable point but my personal unbiased opinion.

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  2. my thoughts exactly..
    change begins at home..so tryin to incorporate such values in my son
    Gud beginning saroj..lukin forward for more ..

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  3. It’s nicely written Saroj but things are changing. The new generation ie our generation many couples specially in the city areas and working couples have taken up the responsibility of changing this trend but yes what ever you said still very much exists. It is we, our generation who will need to change first to bring about the improvement in the society. Can’t expect our parents to change at this ageWe cannot always expect society to change first, change should be brought at home first…

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  4. It’s absolutely true what u have written in your blog.But I found there is change.I am the luckiest one who found mother n father in my in -laws.My best friend in my husband. I have seen Woman r treated equally well by sharing their responsibilities when they r unwell by their hubby’s.There is change in society where daughter n daughter-in-laws are loved n understand by their beloved ones.

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  5. Beautifully written .I really feel that we as parents should teach our SONS how to respect women from a very tender age n also teach them household chores which are considered as women’s work…Fathers have an important role..when they respect the wife..The son will learn to respect a woman..
    We as young parents have to start this with our sons..
    Do keep posting such blogs on women’s empowerment..

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  6. I will keep it simple, Saroj. For far too long we have identified household activities as mundane. Cooking, washing, tending have come to be known as a lady’s prerogative and looked down on. My question is why consider them to be so? And who has defined office-goers as being heroic? Don’t you think it is our mindset which differentiates between the two & categorizes one as inferior to the other? Why can’t we see a homemaker’s role as equally, if not more, praiseworthy? The day our ladies begin to enjoy their daily chores this seeming disparity will disappear.

    I m sure it is the male of the family who is at the wheel when driving long distances, or changing flat tyres, or replacing fused bulbs? Does he complain about it or do we look at them as masculine jobs? He just lets them happen, isn’t it? No strings attached! Then why is a domestic responsibility a curse to women? You may argue that tyres don’t deflate everyday or for that matter, CFLs have a long life.

    A woman determined enough can make it big, irrespective of the hurdles. A Chhavi Rajawat or a Phoolan Devi, a Indra Nooyi or a Indrani Mukherjea, they have shown that either of the extremes aren’t unassailable. What is required though is a desire to step out of the routine, a toughness to take on the system. Arouse it and you will have the world at your mercy.

    And what is wrong with gifting a boy a bat/ball, a girl a barbie? I have read this before but still can’t understand the logic behind it. It is their individual preferences, yaar. Baat ka batangad mat banao. I ve tried it many years back when I was a child, & even now when I m still a child (at heart 😊) but kids just don’t enjoy a role reversal. Iss mein sexism kahan se aa gaya?

    As regards the atrocities, pick up any & check whether there is a female element in it… the mother-in-law, the sister-in-law. I m afraid there is. And I suppose, as with charity so with rectification, it will have to begin at home.

    If you view this reply of mine as a male writing it, I m sure you will call it chauvinistic. Hence request you to see it as from an equal, and you may then understand the sentiments within.

    I repeat, let us keep it simple. A man is known to be muscular, a woman curvy. Will you be able to digest it vice versa? Try as I may but I won’t be able to bear a child. That is the law of nature. Learn to respect it. Seriously, i just can’t fathom this ‘lady sacrifices all her life’ cliché. And what does a gentleman do? Just make up the numbers!

    I haven’t celebrated 8th March nor have I sent greetings. For a person whose everyday life has been directed by his mother when a bachelor, his wife when a husband and his daughter now as a father, I don’t need a Women’s Day to applaud their roles.

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  7. Loved this! I have a similar blog I put out months ago simply called women! U should check it out! It’s true no matter our place in this world we r still doctor, mother, wife, cook, houskeeper, and taxi at home! I have 2 sons and they both do chores only a woman has done in the past! My husband didn’t like it at first bur to be a good mom u have to teach your kids how to survive on their own! That includes their laundry cooking and cleaning! They shouldn’ t have to depend on their wife or 2nd mommy! One step at a time!

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  8. I liked your post. So much starts with the little steps. Women throughout the world are still struggling for equality not only in the home, but also in their professional life, in politics, in sport and we can go on and on. I agree it’s all about educating our children, but the influence of society and media can’t be ignored for even as they grow up, the gender-biased world that they live in will have an impact on the choices they are given on make.

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